Wednesday, July 18, 2012

My Mother Refuses to Discuss Finances With Me; Doesn’t She Trust Me?

A - Financial matters are often the last bastion of control, so you must reassure your mom that knowing doesn’t mean taking over:

Remind her that all decisions she has made about her care and well-being will be respected, but they must be documented – are Powers of Attorney and a Will in place?


Explain that to carry out her wishes, you need to know the relevant players now, not when a crisis occurs.

Meet her banker, accountant, financial advisor, insurance agent and lawyer before they need to contact you in a crisis.

Help simplify her banking arrangements by using electronic payments, direct deposits and consolidating accounts into one branch.
Try not to take her attitude personally; your mom may be trying to spare you time and effort. As you work together on a solution, your mother may feel comfortable sharing more information and, ultimately, more responsibility.

This information was provided by, Pat M. Irwin, BA, AICB, CPCA, is founder and president of ElderCareCanada, a single-source consulting firm for adult children and their families, addressing all aspects of elder care -
www.eldercarecanada.ca

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